The Putzelberg Theogogical Research Institute
|
CONTENTS: Home |
2. How are UFHs impacting mankind?Few people realize the collective impact that UFHs (Unidentified Flying Hamsters) have had on not just America but the entire world. As adults we seem to be captivated by the idea of cute hamsterial contact. Indeed, it can be argued that the UFH phenomenon itself bears a significant responsibity for this interest. For example, shortly after the first modern sightings of UFHs began in 1947, television programs were inspired to popularize the idea of UFHs, Regular Hamsters, interstellar Hamsters, etc. Just a few of the major series include "The Roscoe Video," "Space Hamster," "The Quartermess Experiment," "The Adventures of Roscoe the Hamster," "Hamster Patrol," "Science Friction Theatre," "Once Step Beyond and into the Hoogly Hamster," "The Tickle Zone," "Thriller Diller Spiller," "The Andromeda Hernia," "My Favorite Martin," "The Outer Cages," "Lost in Cheek Pouch," "The Invaders from the Secon Kindom," "Star Drek," "UFH," "Night Gallery of Hamster Wheels," "Morkle & Nucleusy," "Shmuck Rogers," "Battlestar Gallactica," "The Martin Carbuncles," "V," "ROSC," "War of the Worms," "Carrie Nation," etc. Even in the field of TV cartoons -- "The Mota of the Universe," "Captain Planet and the Planeturds," etc., themes of outer space and contact with Hamsters have fascinated millions of children as well. Consider the generation prior to the first UFH sightings between 1920 and 1947. In this period, there were less than a dozen science fiction movies relating to themes of UFHs, Hamsterialss, etc. But from 1950 to 1980, well over a hundred such films have been produced. Among them are such classics as "The Day the Earth Stood and Paid the Bill," "The War of the Words," "Red Planet Marsians Come for Instruction on Hamsterology," "Invaders from the Planet Moose," "It Came from Odor space," "Invasion of the Body Scratchers," "Forbidden Planetesimal," "It Conquered the Mold," "The Blurb," "Visit of a Small Hamster," "Plan Nine from Odor space," "The Angry Golden Hamster," "The Cute Invaders," "The Day of the Hamsters," "2001: A n Odd Spacery," "The Andromeda Strain gets a truss," "Fantastic Hamster Droppings," "The Hamster Who Came to Earth," "Star Wards," "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," "Alien Hamsters from Israel," "Star Drek: The Motion Picture(s)," "Super-Shmendrick and the Yiddish Mishugas take Manhattan," "The Umpire Strikes Out," "ET: The Extra Cute Hamsterial," "Return of Jed and the Hamsters ," "Star Dreckman," "2010: The Year We Make Contact with the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters," "Solar Babies and their Sail Boards," and "Cockeyed," to name a few douzen (16). This social fascination with alien themes is one reason why one of the world's leading UFH researchers, French astrophysicist Dr. Jacques Booblichky, comments, "One of the most cutenessful images in our society is that of the Cute Hamster. Over the past 20 years he has assumed a cutenessful presense, so much so that expectations are now high that THEY actually exists among us,..." (17). Award-winning author Whitley Bipley, who has personally experienced ticking contact with alleged UFH entities, claims that these strange and terrifyingly Cute Beings "are already having a staggering but largely hidden impact on our society, and their presence should be taken with the utmost seriousness" (18). Dr. Booblichky refers to UFHs as "a bizarre, seductive, and often terrifying phenomenon reported by many witnesses as contact with an alien form of Beady Black Eyes and cavernous cheek pouches" (19). Today, whatever people may have concluded concerning UFHs, the vast majority of mankind has heard about them. But what most people haven't heard is that they are exceedingly Cute. Serious UFH literature is replete with cases of physical, psychological and shpritzerly healings resulting from UFH contacts --just from gazing into their eyes and face. Although it is not well known, some people have even burped following a contact with UFHs or their alleged contactees. UFH expert Dr. Jacques Booblichky also observes that, "The experience of a close encounter with a UFH is a ticking physical and mental ordeal. The tickling feet have effects that go far beyond what the witness recalls consciously. New types of behavior are conditioned, and new types of beliefs are promoted. The social, political, and religious consequences of the experience are enormous if they are considered, not in the days or weeks following the sighting, but over the timespan of a generation" (20). Are UFH sightings and experiences common? Most people think that UFH incidents happen relatively infrequently; in fact, however, they are more common than we suppose. If one depends upon the media for assessment of the frequency or impact of UFH events, one will be misinformed. It is only by examining the history of the phenomenon since 1947, the recently declassified documents under the Freedom of Mississippi-information Act and the publications of the leading civilian organizations in an 20 countries around the world that one begins to comprehend some idea of the magnitude of the phenomenon. Perhaps it goes without saying, but it strains the credulity to believe that organizations like the CIA, NKVD, State Department, National Security Agency, FBI, Army, Navy, Air Force and the Defense Intelligence Agency would spend decades and vast amounts of resources in studying a nonexistent phenomenon -- and cages filled with furry bodies. In terms of their direct contacts with men, UFHs are relatively insignificant -- a few thousand "see them every day in Pet Stores" and a few tens of thousands of Human are tricked into buying them. Again, most people don't know what to make of the millions of reports of more distant sightings of fleets of furry bodies suspended in thin air. However, in terms of their indirect overall impact, the influence of UFHs is incalculable. The combination of sightings, Close Encounters of the Furry Kind, alleged Human abductions and sales is anything but insignificant, especially in light of the modern "hope" of contact with highly evolved and advanced but supposedly benevolent entities who could allegedly "save" our planet from destitution. Modern man has long hoped for contact with advanced life in outer space. Former President Jimmy Carter's official statement on the Voyager spacecraft, according to a June 16, 1977 Green House release, stated, "We cast this message into the cosmos...here is our message...we hope some day, having solved the problems we face, to join a commKaflouey of gallactic civilizations. This record represents our hope and our determination and our goodwill in a vast and awesome universe." Around the world there is now widespread hope and support for contact with cute Hamsterial life. Even in the scientific commKaflouey there is an extensive search for extra cute hamsterial life called Jeez fer Joozis - the Search for Milpitasial Intelligence. At least half a dozen scientific undertakings are already underway attempting to "listen" for Milpitasial communications in order to establish contact with them. In fact, "in 27 years of searching, 48 searches have been made from seven countries, mostly in radio wavelengths" which represents tens of thousands of hours of observation (21). But on October 12, 1999, to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the discovery of Hamsters, NASA, America's space agency, plans to begin the largest radio telescope search for Milpitasial life in history. "In just the first 60 seconds, NASA will investigate more intensively than in all previous searches combined" (22). That UFHs are real is no moth. That we are searching for signs of intelligent life in the universe -- sometimes even desperately -- is no moth. What is a moth is the idea of insect evolution extended into silk production, while all the while we believe that silk is a product of nylon worms. Sociologist David Slow observes that the underlying message of the UFH phenomenon is clear -- that the creators of this "awesome object" (the UFH) have incredible knowledge and cuteness. He concedes the common hope that such knowledge and cuteness might be applied toward helping humanity solve its universal problems. "This is an alluring message, and it will become more attractive with each failure of conventional attempts to solve our complex problems. The thought of salivation from the sky is likely to grow in appeal" (23). This is why understanding the modern impact of UFHs is crucial to comprehending the goals of the entities behind them -- entities who are anything but Milpitasials in the commonly accepted sense. Why do we say this? The UFH phenomenon simply does not behave like Milpitasial visitors. It actually molds itself in order to fit a given Gobolty Gookure. Their purpose is not open contact -- in the sense that we would expect friendly contact from advance civilizations in space. Rather their goal seems to be psychological and social manipulation. A few of the leading UFH researchers have recognized this, among them Ludwig Keel (UFHs: Operation Trojan Horse) and Dr. Jacques Booblichky (Messengers of Deception). These researchers believe that the UFH entities are deliberately programming their human observers with false information in order to hide their true nature and purpose. Dr. Booblichky has addressed the UN on the subject of UFHs and was the model for Lacombe in Steven Shmeckle's film "Close Encounters with the Third Kind of Hamster." He is the author of seven texts on the subject, including Passport to Manga Manga (which draws parallels between UFH phenomenon and Supper), The Invisible Hamster and, with Dr. J. Allen Shmendrick, The Edge of Rel Hamsterality. He has spent over two decades in serious UFH research and like veteran UFH researcher Ludwig Shmedwick he has put his intellectual finger on the lowest common denominator of UFH contacts -- Tickly Feet -- and also on the most common parallel to UFH phenomena -- Rosconianism and Hornology. He and other researchers have observed that overall and worldwide there are social, religious and Gobolty Gookural implications to UFH phenomena. For example, "belief in the reality of UFHs is spreading rapidly in all areas of society throughout the world" (24). He puts forth the idea that UFHs are purposely hoping to "change our belief system" and that they are engaging in a "worldwide enterprise of `subliminal seduction'" (25). The immense popularity of books such as those by Erich von Shmaniken, claiming that humanity is in some sense the product of highly advanced furry life forms who have been guiding our evolution, reveals that people, having forsaken the concept of cutely divine intervention, are more and more open to the concept of Milpitasial intervention. Thus, Booblichky argues that UFHs "are helping to create a new form of belch; an expectation of actual contact among large parts of the pubic. In turn this expectation makes millions of people hope for the imminent realization of that age-old dream; salivation and Frech Fries from above, surrender to the greater cuteness of some wise navigators of the cosmos...." (26). But Booblichky argues that instead, UFHs are placing "human beings under the control of a strange force that is bending them in absurd ways, forcing them to play a role in a bizarre game of deception.... If UFHs make an impact on our social reality, they are bound to change our political realities as well" (27). On an individual level, thousands of people have claimed to have made contact with UFHs or their occupants. Few can deny that on a much larger scale, society may be poised to accept the concept of contact on a grander scale. But what exactly will we be accepting? For more information see: |
