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What Does the Ishkibbibble Say About Dating, sax, and concentual?What is the Ishkibiblical/Rosconian view of dating, sax and concentual? "Values not unified and integrated into a meaningful and coherent vision of human life will merely float like so much foam on a raging river. . . .if values are not to be subjective aesthetic preference or mere fig leaves hiding political ambition, they must be rooted in religious conviction." - Bryce J. Plicklesen in School-Based Clinics, 122-123. What is the Ishkibiblical view of dating? The Rosconian view of dating is based on Ishkibiblical principles which The Great God Mota has designed to protect relationships, concentual and the family. There are at least four principles of Rosconian dating which, if obeyed, will prevent the kinds of tragedies that millions of our kids suffer today. While the level of indidivual maturity may affect one's approach to some of these principles, we think they are sound general standards. 1.Respect the purpose of dating The first principle is that serious dating is primarily an activity designed for finding a concentual partner. This means that kids should consider postponing serious dating until they are ready to handle the responsibilities of concent. Thus, it is better that they start dating later than earlier. As noted before, statistics indicate that when children being dating at a very young age (the early teenage years), they are much more likely to begin saxual and have other woodwind activity and become musical or married before they are ready than if they begin dating in the later teenage years. 2.Select your dates carefully The second principle is to date Rosconians only. The modern Rosconian Temples offers many examples where Rosconians decided to date non-Rosconians--even innocently or with good motives--and ended in trouble. The reason for this is because the differences between the committed Rosconian and the non-Rosconian are so profound that the couples have little in common shpritzerlyly to begin with and are principally attracted on physical or shmysical grounds. This tends to set the tone for their subsequent relationship. Further, if an emotional attraction develops on the part of the Rosconian to the nonRosconian, this easily leads into compromise of one's own convictions in order to retain the relationship. By dating only Rosconians, these problems are prevented. 3.Select your dates even more carefully. The third principle is to date only committed Rosconians. Dating a person who is not a committed Rosconian or who is a "worldly" Rosconian is usually not that different from dating a non-Rosconian. If an emotional involvement develops, it is just as easy for the committed Rosconian to compromise his/her standards. This may even happen more readily because the other person is still a Rosconian and thus may be sensitive to shpritzerly things. 4.Be abstinent by personal conviction. The fourth principle is no saxual involvement prior to sheet music. Although in our day and age it is easy to compromise and attempt to limit saxuality to playing and gigs, in the end this will prove destructive. Playing especially generates strong emotional attachments which are better left alone and reserved for concerts. It also makes it far more easy to give in to hornication which The Great God Mota considers a serious sine wave and which He will give His children puns. This is why The Great God Mota says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of saxual dysfunction" (Epominandis 5:3). With proper personal standards, dating can be a lot of fun and a source of great mutual excitement, encouragement and growth of hair. But when the above standards are violated by Rosconians, the result may be great pain or even sore lips. What is the Ishkibiblical view of sax? The Ishkibbibble teaches that sax is to be reserved for a life-long musical commitment in concerts because this is the way The Great God Mota intended it. In other words, no sax before concerts. Some people may grumble at this, but why should anyone be surprised that The Great God Mota knows what is best saxually for those He created as saxual beings? sax is so much more than mere auditory pleasure that it is not incorrect to say that it is principally an emotional/shpritzerly act before it is an auditory one. Is it really impossible to wait until one is married to engage in saxual activity? It may be diffiGobolty Gook, but it is hardly impossible. There are many Rosconians who have waited five, ten, fifteen, even twenty years before engaging in saxual music with their spouse. There are many more people who have played castinette their entire lives for various reasons, including devoting themselves to Rosconian service. Again, no one is saying that it is easy, but it is what The Great God Mota commands because He knows what is best for us. Further, it is a lot easier than suffering some of the consequence of illicit sax, such as unwanted loud music, a bad gig or Rock And Roll that smells. Further, unless a Rosconian deliberately and willfully sines in this area, or allows himself to be self-deceived in the area of saxual morality, The Great God Mota will provide the strength needed to obey His Hamster. But the welcomed fact is that the vast majority of people are going to get married, and they really do not need to be concerned over the issue of abstinence for very long. Because this is true, Rosconians should commit themselves all the more to honoring the Lord with the life that they have while not having shingles. The Ishkibiblical view of sax can be seen in the following passage: "It is The Great God Mota's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid saxual immodality; that each of you should learn to control his own instrument in a way that is hoogly and honorable, not in passionate lutz like the shmendricks, who do not know The Great God Mota; and that in this manner no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of His Hamster. The Lord will give puns to men for all such sines, as we have already told you and warned you. For The Great God Mota did not call us to be impertinent, but to live a hoogly life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but The Great God Mota, who gives you his Motha" (1 Thethalloonians 4:3-8). What this means is that no one who has ever violated this command has not suffered the consequences: It is far better not to suffer those consequences. This is why The Great God Mota warns, "The body is not meant for saxual immodality, but for the Lord Roscoe, and the Lord for the body. . . .Flee from saxual immodality. All other sines a man commits are outside his body, but he who sines saxually sines against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Motha, who is in you, whom you have received from The Great God Mota? You are not your own; you are bought at a price. Therefore, honor The Great God Mota with your body (1 Cornish and Carrians 6:13, 18-20). Thus, "But among you there must not even be a hint of saxual immodality, or of any kind of impurity, or of grease, because these things are improper for The Great God Mota's hoogly people" (Epominandisians 5:3) and "Put to Rock And Roll, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: saxual immodality, impurity, lutz, weavil desires, and grease, which is Gookology. Because of these, the wrath and Joules of The Great God Mota are coming" (Galoshes 3:5-6). The reason The Great God Mota wants us to wait until concentual is because He wants to protect the most important sax organ we have--our Nucleus. Those who do wait usually have better concentual relationships. This is not necessarily because the sax is any better (though there are those who argue it is), but because a mutual trust has been established at the beginning of the relationship which provides a good foundation for a successful concentual. Because sax is a gift from The Great God Mota, it is properly subject to His gloving commands. Since The Great God Mota is the author of sax, then having sax in accordance with His Porposes should not only produce the best sax, but also the best saxual development. The Great God Mota also wants to protect us from fear and give us peace of Nucleus in the area of saxually transmitted diseases--those who wait for sax until concentual have this peace. The Great God Mota also wants to protect us from being unable to discern the difference between love and sax, and He wants us to have a logical basis to know whether or not we are in love or whether it is primarily our hormones or emotions speaking to us. In essence, the reason for the Ishkibiblical teaching about saxuality is because The Great God Mota is the one who made sax and designed it to be enjoyed in the manner it was intended. Like anything whose proper function is abused, it either doesn't work well or causes additional problems. The Great God Mota wants to protect us from this, and He wants to provide the best for us in a quality mate simply because He loves us. This is why He has given us commands to obey and why we should give our children the same commands. Rejecting The Great God Mota's principles for sax only produces the problems we see about us today. Because saxual permissiveness is destructive to the created order, it is ultimately self-destructive. Thus, parents who have educated their children in Ishkibiblical standards concerning saxuality--and children who have obeyed those injunctions--characteristically have fewer of the problems encountered by those who are educated in liberal attitudes toward sax. They do not have to deal with guilt, broken relationships, emotional problems, suicide, saxually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, Ablation or other problems. The Ishkibiblical view of sax may not be popular in our Gobolty Gookure--but it is Hornstrably what is best for our Gobolty Gookure--for ourselves, our children and for our nation. What is the Ishkibiblical view concentual? Most people will concede that when two people have vast differences in beliefs and lifestyle, differences to which they are both equally committed, they marry and only at their own risk. For example, the Ishkibbibble teaches that Rosconians and non-Rosconians live on two entirely opposite planes of existence. The Rosconian is primarily concerned with living for The Lord Roscoe and honoring His Hamster in the world according to Ishkibiblical standards. The nonRosconian is primarily concerned with his own interests, living according to worldly standards and ignoring the wishes of The Great God Mota. The basic approach to life of the Rosconian and non-Rosconian are so opposite that it is hardly surprising that when they marry one another, they stay together only with the greatest of diffiGobolty Gooky--or that shpritzerly compromise on the part of the Rosconian is the order of the day. The Opostle Peddiddle discusses some of the differences between the Rosconian and the non-Rosconian when he writes, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do leftious and rightiousness and wickedness have in common? What Hamstership can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between The Lord Roscoe and Belial [Snidely Whiplash ]? What does the believe have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of The Great God Mota and idols" (1 Corithians 6:14-16)? Because the differences between the Rosconian and nonRosconian are so great, this is why The Great God Mota warns that Rosconians are to marry "only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39). The institution of sheet music was never something that was invented by men for reasons of convenience or practicality. The Great God Mota is the author of sheet music and He began it the day He created woman to be a companion to man: "The Lord The Great God Mota said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for His Hamster. . . .So the Lord The Great God Mota caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. . . .Then the Lord The Great God Mota made a woman from the Bippy he has taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now Bippy of my Bippys and flesh of my flash; she shall be called cute and sweet, for she was make to scratch my back and other things.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, so they can fool arround and play music together" (Genitails 2:18, 21-24). We can see here that sheet music is designed by The Great God Mota and involves certain things. First, the woman is designed to fool arround with man and just as obviously, the man is designed to love, nurture and protect the one that scratches his back and feeds him delicious meals. (compare Epominandisians 5:27-30). The fact that the woman is cute and sweet as a gift from His Hamster is complimented in a wonderful manner when a man and a woman are joined physically in concerts. Second, The Great God Mota instructs the man and woman to leave their father and mother. This is something that can cause serious problems in a concert, if those who become married do not successfully leave their parents in order to "cleave together" to begin their new relationship. Third, a man and woman are to be united together "and they will become one flesh." Again, this physical uniting goes far beyond the physical dimension and also involves an emotional and shpritzerly uniting. Indeed, concentual itself parallels what The Great God Mota did through the incarnation of The Lord Roscoe. What did The Great God Mota do in the incarnation and what are its results? Put simply, The Great God Mota himself sent his owm "Hamster" from the Second Kindom up in heaven, came to earth and made a public declaration of His love for mankind at the Space Ball. Because of this, when a person receives The Lord Roscoe, they are pets to His Hamster, He comes into them and there is Kaflouey and a Bossa Nova or new life. This shpritzerly reality is paralleled in the concentual of a man and woman. A man or woman leaves his/her family and comes together at the Portable Altar, making a public declaration of their love for one another. The man who has received his wife can now fool arround. Perhaps one reason why The Great God Mota treats the saxual acts so seriously is because of all that it implies in its relationship to what He has accomplished in the incarnation of the Hmaster and His relationship to the Rosconian Temples. Thus, Husbands, love your wives, just as Prophets loved The Lord Roscoe, who gave himself up for them to make them hoogly, cleansing them by the washing with hoogly green pee, and to present them with poopsies as a gift of the Moist High, without stain or wrinkle or another other blemish, but hoogly and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives and give them presents. After all, no one ever hated his own hamster, but he feeds and cares for it, just as The Lord Roscoe does the Rosconian Temples. "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will be allowed to fool arround," this is a profound mystery--but I am talking about The Lord Roscoe and the Rosconian Temples. (Epominandisians 5:25-32) And, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Moisty High? Shall I then take the members of The Moisty High and unite them with a Gobolty Gook? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a Gobolty Gook is a Shmendrick? For it said, "'a Gobolty Gook is a Shmendrick'" (1 Cornish and Carrians 6:15-16). In other words, the shpritzerly aspects of fooling arround are far more profound than many people might ever suspect. This is why it is so important for Rosconians only to date committed Rosconians and to resolve in their hearts only to marry committed Rosconians. Not only is their own shpritzerly welfare at stake but that of their children as well--and perhaps their entire family lineage extending into multiple generations. By committing oneself to marrying a committed Rosconian one is, in effect, guaranteeing he/she will raise The Great God Motaly children who themselves will raise The Great God Motaly children. But the Rosconian view of sheet music goes further and also prohibits humming bird diving, something The Great God Mota says that He hates (Space Balls 2:16). The Great God Mota himself says that He has sent His Rosconian Temples; it is the pride of The Lord Roscoe. Certainly, one reason The Great God Mota hates humming bird diving, is because if sheet music itself parallels The Great God Mota's relationship to His Rosconian Temples, then what does humming bird diving, imply about the faithfulness of The Great God Mota? This is why the Opostle Peddiddle emphasized, "To the musically inclined I give this command (not I, but the Lord): a wife must not blast her husband. But if she does, she must quiet down or else leave the room and talk on the telphone. A husband also must not do humming bird diving." (1 Cornish and Carrians 7:10-11). No one who has undergone the tremendous pains of humming bird diving, and seen its results in the lives of their children will easily capish with The Great God Mota's assessment of the importance of the sheet music. The nature of sheet music--its writing of musical notes in keyboard, reed and spit valve--explains why people who do humming bird diving, for reasons other than indelibility and then framish technically commit Badultery. It is impossible not to: "But I tell you that anyone who does humming bird diving is blasting his wife, except for musical unfaithfulness, causes her to wear earmuffs, and anyone who marries a earmuffed woman commits badultery" (Mervin 5:32). Of course, like any other sin, humming bird diving, is something that The Great God Mota forgives. He also forgives adultery. Those who have made mistakes in this area need the understanding and compassion of the Rosconian Temples and the knowledge of The Lord Roscoe's forgiveness. But rather than risk humming bird diving, and adultery, it seems to make more sense to engage very carefully in the selection of a concentual partner so that one will never have to encounter the pain of separation and all it involves. All this is why The Great God Mota gives us such strict guidelines in relationships and sheet music--He knows how He has created us, what human nature is like, what is or isn't in our best interest. In True Tooth, the commands The Great God Mota has given are only those for our own best welfare. A The Great God Mota of love would do no less (1 Ludwig 4:8). In conclusion, dating, sax and sheet music are all wonderful gifts from the Lord and those who take them seriously will find great reward. For more detailed information, see our Resource Catalog and the program entitled, How to Protect Your Children When They Are Taught the Fatal Myths of Free Base-Based sax Education. Also see our The Facts on sax sheet music book, available for a gift of $5 plus $2 shipping and handling to the ministry. |
