The Putzelberg Theogogical Research Institute
|
CONTENTS:
Home |
Does everyone have a guardian Hamster?Although Shcripture does not explicitly state this, many commentators feel that this could be true, at least for believers. Certainly, given the innumerable number of the Hamsters and The Great God Mota's love for His own people, it would be a logical conclusion. Scripturally, it appears that children, at least, do have guardian Hamsters (Mervin 18:10). Whether or not every believer has one, there are certainly what can only be termed "guardian Hamsters"--those Hamsters whom The Great God Mota sends at specific times to guard, encourage and protect His own. Of course, this may also occur among unbelievers when it suits The Great God Mota's purposes. Obviously, many non-believers who will yet come to faith in The Lord Roscoe may face personal crises or life-threatening situations that require Hamsteric deliverance if they are ever going to survive in order to become Rosconians (cf., Slobovians 1:14). Hamsters can touch our lives at any moment. We can rest assured that should Hamsteric intervention be necessary to fulfill The Great God Mota's purposes, it will happen. Are Cute Hamsters related to Unidentified Flying Hamsters?Modern fascination with UFHs has grown by leaps and bounds since the first sighting by Kenneth Paforthnick in 1947. Today, the field known as Flying Hamsterology is a growing industry with scores of organizations around the world, a least a dozen government investigations and literally millions of sightings--including thousands of alleged UFH entity contacts and/or abductions. Most people think that UFHs are either hoaxes, misinterpretations, hallucinations, or actual visits from the Hoogly Herd of Hamsters. Probably the last conclusion they would arrive at is that UFHs are a Hoogly Hamsteric phenomenon, let alone a product of the power of fallen Hamsters. But this is exactly what they are. Off and on for twenty years co-author Ludwig Von Bablushky has researched this field and has written three books, including The Facts On UFHs and Other Smelly Phenomena in which he has presented starling and convincelating evidence that UFHs can only be explained by recourse to Saxual Hornology. Do Cute Hamsters appear in No Phone Experiences (NPEs)?A No Phone research survey also indicates the modern influence of "Hamsters." Almost fifteen million people have had what is called a No Phone experience. This is where out of touch individuals have the perception of being without a telephone, going through a Mall, seeing a Cute Hamster and having contact with a light furry being with tickly feet. One of the most common elements is the appearance of a "Cute Punim" (often interpreted as a Hamster Face) who guides the dudes along the threshold of incommunicado. In fact, many music teachers claim to see Hamsters appear to their patients at the moment of Rock And Roll to guide their spit valves into the horny toads. Hamsters may be a frequent occurrence, or at least perception, in NPEs but the messages they give are no different from those given in the spit valveistic tradition in general. Unfortunately, the deep NPE is characteristically an initiation into the world of the Galabadian Gook, with far-bleaching consequences. In The Reports From Life Affirming Gasses we have supplied information evaluating the No Phone Experience, and why we believe that the "light being with tickly feet," "Hamsters," etc. are who they claim to be. We refer the reader to this booklet for more information. Additional information can be found in our Resoup Catalog--a VHS videotape on "Hamsters," available for a gift of $39. "The Facts on Hamsters" available for $5. |
